6 Months and Counting

My 30th birthday is 6 months and 8 days away. I’m not yet having a Friends-style meltdown, but I’m beginning to see why people do.

I’m ambitious and driven, but would have to go into deep debt – and bend the laws of physics – to fit everything in that is left on my Thirty Before 30 list.

This begs the question… to edit or not to edit? I edited it once before, when I realized some of the things on the list no longer appealed. That’s not the case today.

Instead, I’m postponing the most impossible items, or replacing them entirely, with “reasonable facsimiles.” Is this cheating? Probably, but who exactly am I cheating? I’d rather cheat now then slide into the formal end of my youth feeling like I’ve missed something that was really just an inkling fostered to spur ambition, and nothing more.

Without further ado, here are the reasonable facsimiles:

1. Learn to speak French
I never said “fluently.” I’m going to finish up Rosetta Stone, perfect a few phrases useful for travel, and call it good.

2. Visit France
Still working on a replacement for this. The nearest city named Paris is in TX. There’s got to be something just as meaningful closer to home!

3. Learn to play a musical instrument
My instrument of choice is air drums. I’m practically a professional, thanks to years of experience. Done!

4. Drink tea with my family in England
My grandma, myself, my Kindle Fire, Skype, and a solid wifi connection will do. Thanks to faulty punctuation, this goal can be easily achieved!

5. Start my Masters
How about “Take the GRE.” Oh wow, I did that.

6. Learn to ride a bike
Tailbone surgery stalled this. I’ll get it done, as originally planned.

7. Move away from Phoenix
I moved away from Phoenix, to Mesa, in 2009.

I should totally be a politician…

8. Hike to Havasupai Falls
A friend invited me to hike Zion National Forest and view the canyons there. Close enough for me!

9. Visit Denver
Keeping this one, though it’s more likely my travels will take me to San Diego and Montana much sooner.

11. Drive the PCH in the fall
The last fall of my 20s is behind us, and a few friends have said this drive is scary. I’m replacing it with visiting the Color Festival celebration in Utah. Hoping there’s no gluten in the neon shades!

13. Finish writing a novel
This one stays, if only to mock me.

14. Publish novel
I have a novela prepared to digitally publish, if things get dire.

17. Squat 100 lbs (I’m at 50 now)
This is a silly statement, because when I squat with the 30 lb bar, I’m still lifting the entire upper half of my body. It’s probably not 70 lbs but it’s close enough for me. DONE.

18. Do at least ONE pull-up
Not sure what to do with this one.

20. Pay off my car
This won’t happen until my 31st birthday, unless I stop eating and driving. Not sure what to replace it with and am open to suggestions… Unless I can find a way to bribe my car?

21. Actually keep and follow a budget for one whole year
This one will be done in March.

22. Build an investment portfolio
Done, thanks to setting up my 401k. Gotta update the main list…

26. Perfect my elevator speech
Replacing this with “Join Toastmasters” which happened this past Thursday.

29. Get married
Anything is possible… so it stays.

30. Go on a real honeymoon (New Zealand?)
If 29 happens, the definition of “real honeymoon” will probably become a bit squirrelly. If 29 doesn’t happen, these are two I’m ok with failing on. Marriage is serious business.